Sex and Oil: Canadian Summer Has Begun

Hockey season ended last night, so the Canadian summer can now begin.

Last night in Vancouver...the wrong team won, but at least the marathon is over for now

The Canadian summer technically starts as soon as the igloo melting season ends. Of course without the melting igloos, there would be no beaches. Canadians, however, deny the existence of the sun until the NHL season ends.

In a more realistic sense, there is no Canadian summer. Prairie cities such as Calgary, Edmonton and Saskatoon will wake up to snow at some point during July or August.

With all this winter, people still wonder why Canadians are good at comedy and sex. With how much time is spent indoors, what else would Canadians be good at?

Surfing? That is a joke, right?

War? With helicopters falling from the sky and leaky submarines…nope.

Hockey? Okay…Canadians are good at hockey as well.

Seal clubbing? Next question.

Next to oil, Canada’s number two export is comedy. Think Mike Meyers, Lorne Michaels, Howie Mandel, Leslie NielsenDan Akroyd (whoops…wrong link), Rich LittleJim Carey and Rick Moranis to name but a few. Bob and Doug McKenzie (Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas) were even turned into Disney moose for the film Brother Bear.


Believe that there was no irony missed when Robert Goulet appeared in the first Naked Gun film with Leslie Nielsen.  Perhaps it is odd that most of the well known comedians, however are all men…or moose…

Canada also exports a lot of sex as, apparently, it has too much for the 35 million living in this gigantic country. Jayde Nicole, Pamela Anderson, and Rita MacNeil…wait, no, forget the last one…but the other two have both come out of Canada. Shania Twain is another. Unlike the comedians, Canadian men participate here as well…take Jarome Iginla, for example…oh wait, he plays hockey.  Regardless, Montreal has become one of the world capitals of pornography as well, with Toronto not all that far behind.

So with three weeks before the snow flies again…unless one lives in Toronto, in which case it will be lucky if it flies before New Years…Canadians will only be homeless for a short time before they can rebuild the igloos and insulate the electrical so they can watch hockey on television again next year.

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