Was at a bit of a cross roads this morning.
My writing has been a lot of fun. I have ramped it up over the past 13 months and even made a little money at it again. Not much, but between that and the online friends it has brought with it…well, “rather rewarding” would be the vanilla term for it.
Once again, however, I find someone who seemed interesting in real life and decided to share it with her prior to meeting just so she knows what she is getting into. As per usual, after she takes a look I get the Dear John of which I am so accustomed now.
*shrug* One would think I would be used to it by now, but…I still remember the gasps I got when someone at my office accidentally discovered I have tattoos. I am a perfect fit into that “nice guy” category that I even have problems with these things and wonder what I am doing wrong.
For the record, this is not an indictment of her or anyone else who finds my writing “too much” for them.
Erotic and bdsm writing, it seems, is my nose ring and spiked hair. It is something that people applaud from a distance but shy or even shun up close. It is something that is now part of my character and will not be going away.
In one sense, guess it is good to weed this out now rather than have them “stumble” onto one of my more bawdy posts down the road. In another sense, unlike previous times when I was single, I will not settle for someone who needs me to change in order to be with them…I have tried that before and it leads to ex-wives.
As such, this holiday will be spent alone in front of my marathon for my favourite series of Christmas movies which includes the ultimate all-time great Christmas film…Die Hard. Admittedly, parts three and four are not real Christmassy like the first two are, but bite me.
Careful, though. Apparently I like the feeling of being bitten…and her velvety wet tongue dancing about my loins as I enjoy the view…then my turn as I lay her back and my own tongue goes to work. Her taste would be exquisite, like a fine red wine just warm enough to tickle the pallet as I lap at her juices…
Wait a tick…this is what got me into trouble.
Oh fuck it…like I will change my ways now.