Swinging – The Uninvited

"Bandera Swinger" by Sombrasdeted - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bandera_Swinger.jpg#/media/File:Bandera_Swinger.jpg swingingPart I

Bill stood and watched the couple.

The man had hold of her red hair as though holding the reins of a horse. Kneeling behind her, the man motioned his hips to thrust into her with a thunderous clap against her ass.

Bill grinned and opened his own towel. His own cock, already hard, was stroked as he continued to watch. Stepping around the mattress, he positioned himself in the man’s peripheral and towards her face.

The man glanced up at his with an annoyed raised eyebrow.

Sure it was May…Masturbation Month…but Bill wanted more. He nodded at the man and moved closer until the tip of his erection was mere inches from the woman’s face. He stroked it with his aim towards her mouth and awaited her to open those luscious red lips.

“Excuse me,” the man behind snapped. “You weren’t invited!”

Part II

Swingers…we have a problem.

Today, a story of predators, entitlement, and murder most foul.

Okay, perhaps not the murder bit…

The swinging lifestyle is usually considered as couples swapping, so when a single guy plays at a swinging event, it is seen as a privilege. Single guys at swing clubs foot much more expense than a couple or a unicorn (single woman) for this privilege.

Many of said single guys voice concerns and dislike for this situation. The problem is, supply and demand dictate that this is how the clubs work. The clubs need to entice unicorns and couples to come much more than they need to entice the single men.

“Women need a reason to have sex — Men just need a place.” – Billy Crystal

Having been to a number of events where couples and unicorns mingle with single men, there is one major overriding problem that occurs every time.

For some of these guys, knowing they pay $50 just to get into the club and the woman sitting alone at the bar got in free, that well-treaded path of entitlement kicks in. They become predatory as they stalk the unicorn. Some of these guys turn off their manors and allow themselves to be led on a hunt by the brain, or lack there of, in the cock.

“Entitlement is the opposite of enchantment.” – Guy Kawasaki

Of course, there are exceptions. Don’t make me make up stats for this. The key thing is that some, unfortunately, ruin it for all.

When these bozos flip the predator switch then the women they see become objects, and the partners that might be with these women are nothing more than obstacles.

Swinging is matriarchal. Generally, the women are in charge and no should mean no in every new scenario. Even in a DTF (Down to Fuck or “gangbang”) scenario, the woman is to be respected and usual swinging etiquette applies. That etiquette is basic with asking permission to be close, touch, or join in…not simply assuming.

The predator assumes he is entitled. He feels he has earned it by paying and showing up. He sees the play as part of the transaction as if he had hired a prostitute. Of course, these are not prostitutes. Not slagging on prostitution here, but in this scenario the predator has an unrealistic expectation on what should happen.

The majority of guys follow the etiquette well. Polite, respectful and there to join others to have fun when invited. However, it is a slim majority. This group, thanks to the predators, is then forced to pay extra and follow additional rules.

Further point of order, this predatory nature is not exclusive to the single guys at these events and clubs. It is much less prevalent in guys with partners, but still does exist. A smaller minority in men with partners, however, likely due to the lack of competition.

Swinging is not selfish…which is what these predators miss. When a solid couple swings, it is an extension of their experience together and not meant as a solo event for either partner.

As for the women specifically, it all depends on the context of the word slut. Are they easy, or are they empowered?

The predator thinks they are easy.

The experienced swinger knows she’s empowered.

“When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad, I’m better.” – Mae West

Regardless, how can this be fixed?

As already stated, the economics of these events are driven by the pocket-book of the single guys. It is a fine line to walk in keeping them coming while trying to stop this entitlement.

Some lifestyle clubs have limited attendance to couples and women only which works in theory, but as a business model this sucks plus some single guys are welcome under the right circumstances. Other places have areas exclusive to couples and single women which still leaves the guys leering at them from the sidelines.

The stern talking to before entry doesn’t work once that predator switch flips. The mindset leaves them without the discipline to follow these instructions.

Perhaps training…wait…who are we kidding? How can you train for this?

The only solution would be screening for the right type of maturity. This solution is certainly not the most inclusive way to deal with it, but may be the only way. That said, who screens the screeners?

*shrug* There is no realistic solution without becoming exclusive. It is one of those unsolvable mysteries that will continue until the Earth has given up on mankind and murders us all.

I did mention murder, right?

“Out, damned spot!” – Lady Macbeth

Masturbation-Monday-badge-small swingingWicked Wednesday swinging

9 Comments

  1. We have a club here in our area that’s for all types – swingers, BDSM players, you name it. And it’s the single men with a sense of entitlement that tend to cause the most problems. Of course, it doesn’t help that this establishment also serves alcohol which never makes for a good outcome.
    Kayla Lords recently posted…Not All Rough Edges #MasturbationMondayMy Profile

    • Alcohol can be an issue, but for some it is also a good way to release some inhibitions with being at such a place. A double edge to the drink.

  2. You know, with many things in life, I accept things at face value. I never really stopped to think about single men and women going to swingers clubs too, and the ‘problems’ that can arise from that. Indeed, how to solve this? Isn’t there a rule that when a man ignores a rule, he’s not allowed at the club anymore? Or is it just all about money in the end?

    Rebel xox
    Marie Rebelle recently posted…The Fling by Elle J. LawsonMy Profile

    • That rule does exist at the clubs. It is also a fine line to charges being pressed if they go too far. That said, money cushions many incidents, no doubt.

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